i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
