Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
