I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
