nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize