walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
