why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
