Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
