you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
