he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
