And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
