I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
