in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
