youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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