Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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