Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
