apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
