Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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