Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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