whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
