Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
