You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
