Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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