She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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