Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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