Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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