How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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