Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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