did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
