I didn't shave. On purpose
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
