New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize