Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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