That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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