now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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