ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
