I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize