worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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