your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
