Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
