She's JV to your varsity
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
