I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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