Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
