I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize