As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I need to calm my uterus...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
