oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize