We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
