Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Boobs speak an international language.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
