Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize