No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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