and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
