I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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