how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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