You smell like a Billy Joel song
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
