He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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