well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
