I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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