either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize