My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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