My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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