He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
