Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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