just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
