Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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