If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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