The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
