whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
